Working for Air Canada has been great for Kyle; good pay, he get's to travel and he feels appreciated. It would be hard to find a better job. As manager of their booking system, he likes being everyone's go-to-person.
On the surface, everything appeared good; happy marriage, he loves his wife and children, there are family trips and he has plenty of friends. Why then, does he feel miserable?
During a one-one at work, his boss asked why he's so hard on himself. This was a trigger for Kyle. The feeling of losing everything came rushing back and thoughts of not being good enough seemed to get worse.
Kyle has kept a secret since childhood, a secret that even his wife knows nothing about. As a survivor of childhood trauma, he swore to himself that he was taking that secret to the grave. Now it's eating away at him. Kyle would cope by building walls around himself in order to put distance between him and his feelings. He also wore masks and poured himself into work and eventually lost connection with himself.
Last Christmas, his wife got him 12 sessions with a personal trainer at a gym close to work. His complaints about weight rang loud and clear for her.
3 months later and with a trainers help, he felt great about himself; more energy, a bigger smile and even more sociable. Now that was feeling better about himself, he decided to tackle those negative thoughts that have been getting louder.
It was while we wrote his personal narrative, that Kyle realized those negative thoughts were always there. He was shocked how they slithered their way into his life. Understanding he was not alone in what happened changed everything. It all made sense now.
He now understands that he is not his thoughts. He is not what happened to him. Sure, it's influenced who he's become, but it doesn't define who is.
Kyle described it as having the massive weight removed from his shoulders. For the first time he saw himself as a good person.
In addition to Kyle's personal narrative, we focused on the challenges ahead that requires action and the hope for that action. We created a 90-day plan with daily reminders and affirmations to reinforced his belief in himself.
Change comes from small steps, good habits and repetition.
Gaining a new perspective and getting support is the fastest way to achieve a happier life.
Learning more about yourself and the origin of what's bothering you will help your relationships.
Just getting things off your chest will make you feel better. Learning you’re not alone in what you’re experiencing is a gateway to feeling better about yourself.